As a mediator I can assist parties in seeking to resolve their marriage break-ups.
According to the Telegraph with the average marriage split now costing couples £28,000, it can also be financially crippling.
If current trends continue, one in two marriages in England and Wales will not last 10 years.
Research from Norwich Union found that 62 per cent of couples have shared finances that need to be sorted out on divorcing, and almost half of divorcees are forced to dip into their personal savings to cover the bills.
It is not just your finances which will suffer with the break up of the marriage but the impact on the children.
According to Claire Bergman, author of the excellent, A Hole in My Heart, the effects of divorce resonate in the lives of children, and then adults, long after the initial trauma has passed. A Hole in My Heart chronicles the anguish of over fifty adult children of divorce ranging in age from mid-twenties to early seventies. Many struggle with self-esteem, have difficulty committing to relationships, see their sexuality as a matter of control.
On the plus side,others learned to re-examine their experience to positive effect. They are often independent, ambitious, and empathic.
But do we have to hurt our children to get to this point?
As mediator I am not advocating that parties stay together in all circumstances but just think about what you are doing. My experience of divorcing parties is that more often than not they become self centred. The mediator can help the parties get the focus onto the childrens' welfare which should be paramount.
Justin Patten, Mediator